Thursday, October 22, 2009

...FOR REAL?!

I can't believe the nerve of some people....

Me: Good afternoon my place of buisness.
No answer
Me: Good Afternoon my place of buisness.
No answer I hang up.

Those calls happen all the time. A lot of time its soliters sometimes it's a bad cell connection. Either way if they want to talk they call back.

A few moments later...

Me: Good afternoon my place of buisness
No answer.
Me: (a little louder and a little angrier) Good afternoon my place of buisness.
No answer I hang up.

A few minutes later.

Me: Good afternoon my place of buisness
Him: (very faint VERY soft VERY angry) What is wrong with you? I have asked for so and so twice and you have cut me off!
Me: (Hoping that I didn't hear what I just heard blaming it on him being WAAAAY Soft) I'm sorry what? Hello?
Him( (still faint and soft) Is there something wrong with you? I have asked for so and so twice and you have cut me off.
Me: (not putting up with this sh*t and not giving him a very nice tone) I tried twice and there was no answer both times. If you would like to speak to him now that I can hear you I can transfer you.
Him: Of course I would this is the third time!

DONE! I just sent him on his way without saying anything else. I hope so and so couldn't hear him and hung up on him too. I believe my exact words after I transfered him were " Don't get f**king p**sy with me a** hole!"

Good lord. You'd think if you heard the great twice in both phone calls that it would be on your end right? That's what I like to think. I NEVER want to deal with him again...

Monday, October 12, 2009

I just don't know sometimes....

Me: Good morning place of buisness

Him: Hi is Sam in?

Me: I'm pretty sure hold on while I transfer you.

Him: No I want to know if he's in.

Me: He should be in.

Him: Yes, but do you actually know if he's in.

Me: He's not on our out calander so he should be in but I have not physically seen him, no. Let me try transferring you.

Him: No, I need to talk to him. If he's not in then I have to speak with Lauren.

Me: Well, Sam should be in so I'm going to transfer you since he will be able to help you better than Lauren can.

Him: Will he answer his phone?

Me: Well, I can't guarentee that he's at his desk right now or in a position to pick it up and there's only one way to find out so let me transfer you.


...Needless to say he wasted more time trying to figure out if someone was going to answer a phone...which he did answer....I swear sometimes....

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Super Intelligence!

Me: Good morning my place of buisness.

Him: Hi was you all at that thing this weekend?

Me: I'm sorry?

Him: That thing this weekend, was you all there?

Me: I don't know what you are refferring to.

Him: You was selling t-shirts at that thing this weekend?

Me: You're going to have to be more specific I don't know what you are talking about.

Him: You was at that thing this weekend selling t-shirts and I'm calling the number on the reciept.

Me: Ok.

Him: was that you all?

Me: I'm not sure. I don't know what was happening this weekend. Were you trying to buy some shirts or return some shirts?

Him: Return.

Me: Ok let transfer you to So-and-so in our customer service department, he should be able to help you out.

I kid you not 15 min. later I get a call from So-and-So in our customer service deparment.

Me: hi

So-and-so: Hi so the guy on line 101 right now was at a race this weekend. I can't help him. But I think such-and-such can. Do you have his extension so I can transfer him?


Wait...are you kidding...it took this guy 15 min. to realize that "that thing this weekend" wasn't enough information?! I have no idea how So-and-so coaxed it out of him but he did! I'm amazed!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I have an appointment

Yesterday I had a lady walk in at about 2:50pm. This is how the interaction went down.

Her: Hello my name is Angie and I have an appointment.

Me: Ok. Who was your appointment with?

H: I don't know what his name was but I told him I would be in between 1 and 3.

Me: and you don't know his name at all. First name or last name?

H: No. It was a meeting for a conference.

M: ok...

(I call the person who handles conferences. But he doesn't pick up. Then it hits me that this lady might be this stupid if she didn't know his name so I ask)

M: Were you helping with one of our conferences or were you purchasing for your own conference.

H: It's for our conference. (And then she proceeds to tell me way too much information than I need or care to know about her conference.)

M: alright (picking up the phone to call one of our 12 male sales people...no answer. So I call another one...narrowing down my search to 11. Then I call another one narrowing down my search to 10.)

At this point my boss happens to wander down and talks with this lady. We start to look at Company names and contacts that she is giving us. At which point one of the salesmen that I called that was on the phone has called me back.

M: Hi. Were you expecting someone named Angie to be sometime between 1 and 3 today.

Him: yes

M: Ok she's here

Him: I'll be right down.

M:Ok (To her) his name is Jake and he will be right down.

Her: Jake ok thank you so much!


Ummmm.....how do you set up an appointment with someone and not know their name? Seriously....

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Phone solicitors

As much as I hate phone solicitation I have to give them a little bit of credit...I mean the live phone solicitors. I probably get close to 50 calls a day that are some form of phone solicitation. The majority of them being recordings. You know the ones that go "Hi this is Julie from some company. Don't worry this isn't a sales call" when it actually is. I generally just hang up on those. Or the ones that are recorded but make it seem interactive and you can't quite tell what is wrong with gentleman you're speaking to until it clicks and you ask if this is a recording about two times and he never acknowleges that you're speaking. (Which those don't work for me because I'm just trying to figure out where to send them anyway so I'm not listening to their shpeel).

Then there are the regular solicitors that when you answer it takes them a second or two for them to greet you. YOu know they're real persistant and annoying but at least they're live and they have a job (unlike a lot of people in the U.S. right now) so I can't really fault them.

Then there's my favorite one floating around right now. You answer the phone and a recorded voice comes on and says "please hold for the next available rep." ...seriously?! That's not a joke. They call me (and this happens more often than live people but a little less than recordings...not by much) and then expect me to wait for them so they can try to sell me stuff. What are they thinking? Do they really think I want someone to interrupt my day (whether I'm at work or at home) to tell me to hold so that some one can annoy me by trying to sell me something I clearly don't need otherwise I'd already own it!

Although it is easier to hang up on those people because you don't feel even a little bit rude. It's rediculous. Granted I believe it doesn't take that long for them to get to you but I've only waited one time to make sure that it wasn't someone that was trying to work with us...you know a buyer...but it was just solicitation.

These annoy me the most because it's just laziness. If you want to be more productive don't have people wait for you....here's a buisness tip for you...customers hate waiting...any idiot who has been on hold or had to wait in line knows this...so why do these companies think they will work...why?!

Sorry for the reant I just think this one is WAAAAAYYYY too rediculous!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Tragic tragic events for receptionists!

My friend is a receptionist as well and sent me this little story that I thought was quite good and I had to share it. [Note: I have altered names and e-mails so they weren't all over the web]

Begin her story now:

This is the woman I was just talking with.

I said "Send me a detailed email explaining what you're looking for and why you need to speak with James or another expert. The more we understand about your request the better we can help you."

Woman- "Ok, sure I'll write it all out. I'm confused because I didn't find anything when I looked for Teflon on your site"

me- "Did you use the 'find something' feature? I just did and found 752 results under the term 'Teflon"

W- "How do you spell that? T-e-f...?"

M- "T-E-F-L-O-N"

W- "Still not working for me. What's your name and email?"

M- " I'm Maryanne, email is my first name, M-A-R-Y-A-N-N-E @a random e-mail company.com, Maryanne is one word"

W- "Oh, one word, ok got it. Thanks Maryanne. Still not finding anything. How do you spell Teflon again?"

M- "T-E-F-L-O-N"

W- I'll just email you.

This is what I get, 2 seconds after we hang up:

Begin forwarded message:
From: "Amanda"
Date: September 17, 2009 12:19:26 PM EDT
To: "Maryanne"
Subject: Teflon!!

Mary Anne,

Looking for Teflon reports or articles for Mr. Williams.

-Amanda





Lovely. I think I most enjoy the fact that my friend "Maryanne" told the lady it was one word and then made it two words in the e-mail. There are so many tragic things happening in this conversation that it makes me happy not to have to work for anything that has to do with Teflon!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Crazy people can be the funniest!

I told you I had many stories so I figured why not post two today since it's been so long!

This call happened earlier this week. It was one of the strangest phone calls I've ever had both professionally and non-professionally.

Me: Good morning place of buisness.

Her: Hello?

Me: Hello?

Her: Yes?

Me: Hello?

Her: Who is this?

Me: This is name of myself.

Her: Well, what do you want?

Me: I'm sorry?

Her: I think you have the wrong number!

Me: What?

Her: Goodbye.



I was soooo confused! First off all she called me. Second of all I don't know what sort of demension she was in! I didn't know how to handle that call....at all! I don't think they have any sort of training available for those types of calls!